DRESSING FOR CONFIDENCE

I have a favorite outfit that always looks good, gets compliments, and makes me feel, well… special. I bet you do too, and if so, why not build a new and sustainable wardrobe based on what you like about that favorite piece?  My daughter told me decades ago to peruse fashion magazines and tear out pages of looks I liked. Sounded like a pretty good idea, so I tried it. After a couple days of flipping, tearing and filing, I took a look and quickly realized there was a trend developing. Not a clothing trend, but a trend in silhouettes, and just about everything I had chosen followed it. Interesting.

Invariably, the photos I pulled had slim bottoms, a simple top covered by a blazer or other long jacket, cool jewelry (cool, not necessarily expensive), high heels (a little less high today, though) and a killer purse (which I may, or may not, have spent a bit more money on) and voila! I had my perfect template outfit, that 40 years later I’m still wearing. Of course, there are slight variations in the look that have come and gone, but for the most part, I’m still dressing like my younger self, and I’m still rocking it. Oh! One more thing, it seemed that back then I also really liked dresses, some shorter than others, and today, I still love them, though I lean more toward the midi style or even perhaps a shorter option, with black nylons now and then. 

Let’s be honest: fashion trends come and go faster than you can say “high-waisted, wide-legged or acid-wash. But here’s the secret that fashion magazines won’t scream from the rooftops: Confidence never goes out of style and confidence is what you want to be recognized for. Trust me whether you’re 18 or 81, you can still rock your wardrobe with grace, flair, and a dash of humor. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve walked into a restaurant and gotten the most amazing reaction from the young lady at the hostess desk. “I love your outfit!”  is the ultimate compliment coming from someone who could be my granddaughter, and when I hear it, I lift my head even higher and thank them profusely, because their comment cements the good feeling I had about myself when I walked out the door.

My mom told me once, “Always dress as though you have somewhere better to go, afterwards.”  At first I didn’t get it. Why, I asked, and she responded, “You’ll see.” She was right, and though it might sound old-fashioned to some, just try it. It’s amazing that many times you do end up wanting to go somewhere afterwards, and even if you don’t, looking good makes you feel good!

Once you’ve defined what styles you really like, and that you feel good wearing, take a mental picture in your mind. This way, when you go shopping, ask yourself: Does this actually feel like me?, before splurging on the latest catwalk-inspired piece. Your personal style is that cozy space where comfort meets self-expression. When you dress for your taste, you’ll radiate confidence without even trying.

Whenever I go shopping, I consult my closet first to see if there’s anything I need. Then when in the store I look at items that can be worn at least three ways. Either I can pair the piece with one or more of my current items, or I will buy items that can be mixed and matched to create new outfits. If I see the most amazing blouse in the world but can only wear it one way, I usually pass. It’s just not a good investment.  Also, I try to avoid sale items (unless they can go with other items in my closet). Buying things on sale is tempting for us all but sometimes results in having items that don’t match anything you have. Always think of how you can make a single item into an outfit.

Another good idea, and one I’ve just learned is to create boards in Pinterest. I didn’t realize there are SO many inspirational ideas posted on the app, and they are so easy to save and post to your own board. Later you can be inspired just by reviewing the items you’ve saved, or maybe even buying one of the items you really like from the site.

And by all means, try to get into the habit of removing one outfit in your closet for every new one you buy. Yes, it does require focus and determination, but can be the game changer to maintaining an orderly and efficient closet.

Here are a couple of steps to fine-tuning your wardrobe and complementing it with stand-out specialty pieces and accessories.

STEP #1 – Tackle Your Closet with a Mission

OK, don’t shoot me, because I know cleaning your closet is probably the last thing you want to do, but give it a chance.  I promise, you’ll be SO happy you did. Having a mission when you start your closet revamp will allow you to think clearly when you think about your possessions, and put together head-turning outfits you don’t even have to think about. And arranging your accessories to find the perfect add-on to beautifully elevate your look will make a huge difference.

First of all, you have to figure out what the heck is going on in that little room (your closet), and what you really need and will wear.  Pull out everything you own (little by little); from those sequined bell-bottoms you’ve kept “just in case”, to that see-through blazer you wore once for New Year’s Eve 1998. Commit to a time period to complete the task and try to stick to it. Even if it’s only 10-15 minutes a day, you’ll get it done, and the result will be amazing! 

Begin by setting up 4 bags or boxes labeled Keep, Donate, Sell, Trash. If an item no longer fits, or you haven’t touched it in over a year, consider donating or selling it. The less clutter you have, the easier it is to find clothes that make you feel good.  I know better than anyone how hard this is. I reluctantly went through my closet last Fall and after about 3 weeks of short cleaning intervals, I just couldn’t believe how great I felt about the paring down of what seemed like an insurmountable hodge-podge of STUFF!  Now everything’s in order, some clothes even by color, and I’ve hung outfits together so I don’t even have to think about it when I’m going out. I can just lay in bed, visualize my closet, and come up with a couple of ideas before even brushing my teeth. (Also check out my blog “Decluttering After 50 - https://bit.ly/42cy7uW).  

I found the acrylic shelf dividers below to be really helpful, both in having a better-organized closet and to find items I need without rummaging through drawers and shelves.

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Now instead of throwing on leggings and a T-shirt in the morning, I can easily grab a pair of pants or jeans and pair it with a relaxed top with tennis shoes or flats to start my day. I feel better, and I’m sure I look better, so why not?

STEP #2 - Focus on Fit, Not Size

This one was a challenge for me. In the past, whenever I’d go shopping, I always tried on the size I WANTED to fit into. I was usually successful at stuffing everything into it, but it was far from comfortable. I just couldn’t bring myself to buy, or even try on, the next largest size, as it was the one I swore I would never wear.  Needless to say, the smaller one never got worn again as the purchase was based on all the wrong reasons. BTW the idea of losing a few pounds so it would fit after purchase, never worked. Sound familiar?

Here’s the thing: nobody ever sees the tag and like my girlfriend told me, if you don’t like seeing it, cut it out! People only see how fabulous you look in your clothes, so if that 16, 12 or 22 fits better than the smaller size, by all means buy it! Once you wear it, you won’t even notice the size, you’ll just relish in how amazing you look and feel!

Keep in mind, no matter how slim we are, some garments necessitate shapewear that smooths out any lumps and bumps. I really like these High-Waisted Shapewear Tummy Control Shorts, and they come in various skin-colored shades.

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STEP #3 - How to Find the Best Clothing Colors for your Skin Tone

There’s nothing wrong with wearing bright colors past the age of 30, 40, 50… or 100, for that matter! Colors are great because they can lift your mood, reflect your personality, and help you stand out in the best way possible. Whoever came up with the idea that as you get older, you should revert to neutrals, was dead wrong. If a sunshine-yellow sweater makes you smile every time you see it, wear it with pride!

To determine which color(s) are most flattering to you, stand near a window with natural light shining through. Notice how your skin, eyes, and hair react to each hue. You might be surprised that a color you once thought was “off-limits” actually makes you glow.

STEP #4 - Accessories are Game Changers

Accessories transform a basic outfit into a showstopper in seconds. Whether it’s a statement necklace, a bold scarf, or a pair of funky earrings, the right accessory can take an ordinary outfit over the top.

This 14K Gold Plated Adjustable Necklace is the perfect adornment to add elegance to any blouse or dress.

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And don’t forget about practical accessories! Stylish reading glasses (yes, they exist) or a wide-brimmed hat can serve a functional purpose while making a fabulous fashion statement.

These Dolce & Gabbana Oversized Sunglasses provide UV protection and lots of style!

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STEP #5 - Be Very Careful with Trends

By now you’ve made a mood board (at least a mental one) of your inspirational styles but be careful. Before purchasing an item, ask yourself three questions:

1.   Do I like this, or am I just curious because it’s new (trendy)?

2. Will I still wear this next year (or even next month)?

3. Does it flatter my body and make me feel confident?

If the answer to any of these is “no,” PASS! Remember you are curating a closet of items that make you feel confident and that you can wear for many years.

You could be sporting a garbage bag, but if you walk tall, hold your head high and smile, you will radiate confidence and that’s what gets you the compliments that make you feel like a superstar.

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~~~What’s the one piece of clothing in your closet that instantly makes you feel like a superstar, even on a bad hair day?~~~

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Until next time, keep living boldly, aging confidently, and AGING OUT LOUD—No Limits, No Apologies, No Regrets and keep dressing like the fearless fashion icon you are!

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